Bible Principles For Married Love and a Happy Family Life

Dr. Walter G. Fremont, Dean, School of Education
Bob Jones University

Marriage is based on the character of the participants (Ephesians 5:14-19)
A born-again Christi, Ephesians 5:14, John 3
A spirit-filled Christian, Ephesians 5:18, 19; Galatians 5:22, 23
Spiritual life affects married love and married love affects spiritual life.
Married love is a perfect example of the believer's relationship with Christ.

Love defined: An unselfish or self-sacrificing desire to meet the needs of the cherished object. A mental attitude. I Corinthians 13: 4-7; 11-childish to mature, holy love.
Involves:
1. Understanding the partner's needs, Proverbs 17:27, 14:1.
Women: Security, Homemaking; Men: Ego, Physical: Food and love.
2. Giving: The circle of Love, II Corinthians 9:6-8. If children dn't learn to love at ome, they find it very hard to love people.

Communication: Ephesians 4:22-32
Spiritual Psychological: Mental and Emotional Physical
Tender in telling Loving in little things Care in your contact

SIX BIBLE PRINCIPLES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

I. REJOICE AND GIVE THANKS IN EVERYTHING. (Eph 5:19, 20; I Thess 5:18) What for? (Romans 8:28; John 10:10) Are you enjoying the abundant life? How? (Psalm 107:8) Praise the Lord!

II. SUBJECTION OF WIVES - loses freedom but gains the benefits of security and protection (Eph 5:22-24)
A. Ephesians 5:22-24 - God's rank of authority.
B. I Peter 3:1-6 - To develop inner beauty; meek and quiet spirit.
I Timothy 2:9, 10 - Modest and discreet with good works.
Sari - contentious or vicious - married 25 years
Genesis 17:15 - Name changed to Sara - princess, Isaac - laughter.
Titus 2:4,5 - Obey: teach to be obedient.
I Corinthians 14:34 - Keep silent in church - be obedient.
C. I Timothy 2:11-15 Woman is weaker - was deceived.
D. I Corinthians 11:3, 7-12 Woman was created for the man.
E. Genesis 3:16 - Result of God's curse - rule over thee.

Check list for wives:
1. Are you submissive and obedient?
2. Do you have inner beauty?

III. HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES (Ephesians 5: 25-29)
As Christ loved the church
As you love your own body
Don't be bitter against them. (Colossians 3:19; Proverbs 18:22)
Ephesians 4:31; 4:26, 27; Anger I Corinthians 14:20
Bitterness: Creates negative mental attitudes.........bickering and belittling
Interrupts communication - indifference
Kills warm emotional feelings - coldness

Love, meeting the nees of his wife (affection and security) keeps the husband from being dictatorial. (I Timothy 3:7)

Check list for husbands:
1. Do you tear down instead of build up your wife?
2. Do you disagree with your wife's discipline of children?
3. Do you buy and use the car without her kowledge?
4. Do you make your wife beg for money?
5. Do you plan the family vacation yourself?

It takes two to make a marriage and two to break a marriage.

IV. ONE FLESH(this part edited for the Internet. :) - The physical relationship (Ephesians 5:31-33).
Eph 5:31 - Leave father and mother - family interference breaks up marriage. Join or cleave - glued together (Greek)....
Matthew 19: 5,6; Mark 10: 6-8
Genesis 2:24 - "ONE" same Hebrew word used in Deut. 6:4. Note the contrast in A, B, and C: In marriage ONLY it is God-ordained and honorable. God hates fornication and adultry.
A. Hebrew 13:4 Honorable, bed undefiled.
Psalm 51:5
B. Proverbs 5:18-10 -Rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Proverbs 18:22 - Obtains favor with the Lord.
C. Frequency (I Corinthians 7:1-5)
To avoid fornication.
Get married and give love to the marriage partner (vs. 2,3).
Don't live unto yourself (vs. 4) Meet your partner's needs.
Don't defraud or rob the partner of what is rightfully his or hers. (vs. 5)
Exception: With mutual consent, for a time to fast and pray. Come together again so Satan
will not tempt.
The physical communication of married love becomes mechanical and animal unless the spiritual and psychological communication is first emphasized! Warning: Keep the marriage boundary. With feelings, the line between the spiritual, emotional and physical is very thin.
Children are desired (Psalm 127:3-5; 128: 3)
Don't judge others on the number of children they have.
Childless couples - let God answer your prayers. (Matthew 21:22).

V. CHILDREN OBEY YOUR PARENTS (Ephesians 6: 1-3; I Timothy 6:1-6)
A. First commandment with promise (Exodus 20:12).
Colossians 3:20 - pleasing to the Lord.
John 14:21 - shows love.
B. The remedy for disobedience.
Under the law (Ex 21:15-17)
Under grace, chasten (Hebrews 12:7-9; Proverbs 19:18) How?
With a rod! (Proverbs 23:13, 14; 22:15; 13:24; 3:11-12)

VI. FATHERS TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN (Eph 6:4, Joshua 24:14-24)
Represents law and order; God image. TIME - TESIMONY - TRAINING:
Salvation, Study the Word, Separation, Surrender, Soulwinning
A. Proverbs 22:6 - Teach by creed and deed. Who is teaching your children - TV? Ungodly schools? Playmates?
B. Isaiah 28:10 - Line upon line, precept upon precept
C. Proverbs 4:1,2 Hear the father; gives good doctrine
Proverbs 9:10 - the fear of the Lord.
D. Deuteronomy 6:6,7; II Timothy 1:5 - Family altar.
The Supreme Court decision ruled prayer and Bible study out of the public schools. Fathers' neglect rules them out of the home.

This concluded the two day session, however, Pastor shared with us some "C's" of Ilegal Aliens.

* Companionship: Be intimate friends in a trusting sense. Be best friends. Be careful who you run with, who your friends are. Don't ever let anyone criticize your spouse or your church.

* Circumstances: Don't let circumstances make you change with the crowd. Keep your standards.

*Children: Lovingly discipline your children. Make up your mind they are NOT perfect! They know how to con us. Teach them in a loving manner. Don't let a rebelious child take you out of church.

* Courruption: Be careful of what you look at. The devil will use it later against you. You're putting out a fire when all that's left are embers. Be careful, even, what you read!

* Criticism: Don't be critical. Be like Christ. Enjoy the good things. Don't take on a critical spirit toward your spouse. No name-calling. Build UP your spouse. Be postivie.