Mio, My-O, We're Lost In The Ghetto
Daddy needed to have his fistula worked on today, which is a very painful procedure. He would need someone to be with him since he would most likely be put on some drugs to ease the pain. I picked him up a little earlier this morning than originally discussed so we could stop at the court house to pick up Hannah's birth certificate.
Since his appointment was in Charlotte, a very large and confusing city, it was a great excuse to pull out his Mio. {MEEO} The Mio is a GPS for your vehicle. I love it and I want one! You just type in any address and it tells you exactly where to go, when to turn, etc.
Unfortunately, "Mr. Happy Fingers," as I named him today, was upset that the map showing on the screen wasn't facing the direction he thought it should be facing. So "Mr. Happy Fingers" began to push buttons and play with Mio, trying to figure out how to get the map facing the correct direction.
"Daddy, please stop pressing buttons. Mio is talking to me and giving me the correct directions. Don't worry about the map. The map is fine."
"The map is not fine! The arrow should be going THIS way!"
"Daddy, as long as Mio is talking to me, I'm not worried about the map."
Did he listen? Nooo! And then not only would "Mr. Happy Fingers" not stop pressing buttons, but he put the headphones in Mio. Now I can't hear Mio tell me where to go. This led to a series of events that took us twenty miles into Charlotte, exiting the highway, entering the highway, turn left, turn left again, etc. As we traveled along we listened to Brother Sammy Allen's church choir. That was nice. And then.......I see the Rooms To Go Outlet. Now, I'm not too familiar with Charlotte, but I do know that particular store. And it was on the wrong side of the road of what it should have been. Then it dawned on me.....WE'RE GOING BACK HOME! Yep, twenty miles back towards home.
"Mr. Happy Fingers" over there says, "Well, how in the world did that happen?"
"Well, daddy, this ain't Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but if it were, I can tell you I wouldn't need a lifeline to answer THAT question!"
So we pull off into a gas station and I have to force him, yes FORCE him, to reenter the address of the destination in which we are unsuccessfully arriving to. I also threatened him not to touch it again. We were finally on our way to our destination and within another thirty minutes or so we were making ourselves into the parking lot and to building number 400.
After daddy's procedure he was a slight bit.......ummmm........high from valium and another drug the doctor called angel dust. He drunkenly made his way to the truck where he once again begins to set the Mio for one of two Long John Silver's in Charlotte. The one he wanted to get to was the closest, we knew, because it was on Beattis Ford Road and we had seen a sign several times for that road while we were lost. As we turned onto one particular road my insides began to tighten. The houses were boarded up, although, very gangster looking people were exiting and entering them. The further we drove in this direction, it became obviously apparent to both of us that we were in a Charlotte ghetto. Now, if you know anything at all about Charlotte, you know you do NOT want to be lost in it and you definitely do NOT want to be lost in the ghetto. As we pulled into a parking space directly in front of the restaurant, we surveyed our surroundings and I became adamant not to exit the vehicle. But there was no arguing from "Mr. Happy Fingers" cuz he was adamant not to exit the vehicle either. We locked our doors and quickly keyed in the second address for the other Long John Silver's. Not getting out of there fast enough, we were finally on our way to the second location.
We had a great lunch together. He ordered fish and I had chicken. As you can see, I ate all of my lunch.
Daddy, however, decided it was more fun to play with his food.
gross
and even grosser!
I'm positive I'm adopted!
After lunch we once again told Mio to take us home. I wanted to get home in time to take the kids to hear Brother Larry Brown at Mountain View Baptist Church. We called the kids and told them to be ready for me, that we would leave as soon as I got there. We drove and drove and drove and then.......there we saw Lake Norman. Lake Norman? And then I saw an Iredell County sign! We're not on our way home! We're on our way to Statesville!!!! We probably made four complete circles, traveled through a rather upscale neighborhood, made a few more complete circles and finally found our way back to the correct road. I was somewhat bummed, being forty minutes out of the way, so I had "Mr. Happy Fingers" call the children again to tell them the revival service was off. *sigh* I continued to drive the long road home and decided to call Mrs. Janet to see if she left me a key to a church van. She told me the service didn't start at 7:00, but 7:30!! YAY! So I had "Mr. Happy Fingers" call the children again to let them know the revival was back on!
I made it home right at 6:00, made a quick call to a couple of people that were interested in riding the van to revival, and we were off again! A quick stop to McDonald's for the kids, a quick stop for a bottled soda, and then to the church to get the van. Mrs. Pam was the only one that made it. That's OK...we had a good time anyway. We made it to Mountain View about 7:00 or a little after. The church was filling up quickly. This was their choir.
Brother Brown was his typical crazy self and once again delivered a great message from John chapter 12 on being close to the Lord, the audience you're in front of being close to the Lord, and the reward we receive by being close to the Lord. It was a very good sermon.
Here's a video of Brother Brown telling a story of an unusual preaching experience. ENJOY!
Labels: church pictures, daddy, family, videos
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