A Winner Either Way

There have been some new developments recently with my Dad's kidney transplant and dialysis situation. Developments that were very discouraging to hear. I cried all day yesterday and off and on today. "Oh, woe is me," I thought. "STOP THAT!" Just this past Sunday Brother Benny Beckham was at our church preaching on prayer. Did I hear ANYTHING the man said?? One of the things that he said and something my Mother brought up to me, was that God will hear the prayer of the one who is living close to Him. "How far are my prayers going? Are you hearing me at all, Lord?" I was becoming angry and frustrated....not at God, but at myself. I realized that, where we can ALL strive to live closer to God, my greater problem this time is that I'm not letting my Dad go and placing him in God's hands.
I remember that I went through the same thing when my little Harrison was born. Long story, but in a nutshell, he and I were both knocking on death's door. I was feeling alone and scared, nearly blind and weak from the stress my body had been under and I finally just broke down in the quiet of my room and gave God what already belonged to him. My sweet little baby boy. The same thing happened this morning as I was driving in my car. I reached the point where there was nothing else more that I myself could do for my Dad. And I just cried, "Ok, Lord. I'm giving him to you. Your will be done." It was easier to pray that prayer because I know my Dad is a Christian. And I've said before and will say it again, that no matter what happens in his future, he's a winner either way, if he goes or if he stays.